my heart hurts today. it hurts with that aching that comes from missing something, someone, so deeply that the roots they left in you seem to pulse with recognition.
i fill in the blanks with what i think it is, who it could be, hoping that by sitting with it, with them, i can make it better. but i can’t, it doesn’t pass. pain is an unwelcome houseguest that leaves at its own time. if you’re lucky it leaves you a hostess gift, something you can learn from and use to heal.
i’m not sad though, just pensive. it’s hard not to be, when your heart feels heavy. it’s like a magnet, pulling all of your thought and feeling to the core of you, fusing it all together so that neither one is clear. it anchors you, insists on getting attention, invites you to dive into the fuzzy abyss, promising both answers and additional questions.
so i’ll be mulling it over today, whatever “it” is… because my heart is full. because my heart is heavy. because my heart is insistent and ripe.
i fill in the blanks with what i think it is, who it could be, hoping that by sitting with it, with them, i can make it better. but i can’t, it doesn’t pass. pain is an unwelcome houseguest that leaves at its own time. if you’re lucky it leaves you a hostess gift, something you can learn from and use to heal.
i’m not sad though, just pensive. it’s hard not to be, when your heart feels heavy. it’s like a magnet, pulling all of your thought and feeling to the core of you, fusing it all together so that neither one is clear. it anchors you, insists on getting attention, invites you to dive into the fuzzy abyss, promising both answers and additional questions.
so i’ll be mulling it over today, whatever “it” is… because my heart is full. because my heart is heavy. because my heart is insistent and ripe.
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